Angel walked by the graves of one of Sunnydale's cemeteries, looking for Buffy. He had stopped by the library first, but was told by Giles that she was patrolling at the moment. Tracking her scent, he found her sitting on the top of a gravestone playing with a yo-yo.

Angel shook his head.

Sometimes he would forget how young Buffy was. His eyes searched for a certain dark-headed boy, who usually hung around her. He was nowhere to be seen. Angel couldn't help the silly smile that formed on his lips.

He walked towards Buffy listening to her talking to Stephan, whom Angel assumed was the dead person under the tomb.

"Hey," he whispered.

Buffy inhaled a quick startled breath and turned around to face him. When she still gazed in shock, he asked, "Is this a bad time?"

"Are you crazy?" she exclaimed. "You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or... yodel."

"I heard you were on the hunt."

"I'm supposed to be, but... lazy bones here doesn't wanna come out and play."

"When you first wake up, it's a little disorienting. He'll show," he spoke from experience.

"It's weird to think of you going through that," she said quietly.

"It's weird to go through," Angel replied, not that interested in this conversation. He was more interested whether Buffy's little friend was here with her or not. He couldn't smell the boy around, but he was too paranoid and that must have affected his senses. Suspicion was killing him and he had to know now. But how could he ask her without letting her know how nervous he was?

"So, uh, you're here alone?" he asked looking around.

"Yeah. Why?" Buffy asked, confused.

"I just thought you'd have somebody with you," he said. "Xander or someone," he unfortunately added.

Buffy's brow rose. "Xander." She must have suspected where this was going.

"Or someone," he added quickly.

"Nope," Buffy answered simply. She hopped down off the gravestone, and looked into his eyes. "Why? Are you jealous?"

With an offended chuckle, he deprecated, "Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid."

"Is it 'cause I danced with him?" she asked softly.

"'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer," he said defensively.

"Don't you think you're being a little unfair?" Buffy spat before she pouted. "It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success."

"I am *not* jealous," Angel insisted.

"You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?"

He glared at her for the remark. She did it again. "See?" he started angrily. "Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing."

"Well, I didn't come here to fight!"

Suddenly, a vampire lunged at her and knocked her into him. He fell to the ground harshly, with the other vampire on the top of him.

"Oh, right, I did," he barely heard Buffy say.

Angel looked at the vampire she started fighting and guessed it was Stephan. Buffy kicked the vampire in the jaw, sending him stumbling into a large adjacent gravestone. She looked around frantically. "Where's my stake? I… I know I had a stake!"

Angel didn't remember any stake, he remembered the yo-yo though. "I didn't see a stake!" he yelled. He got to his feet when he realized that lying down wasn't helping her.

Angel attacked, but the vampire brought a shovel up and hit him on the side of the face, knocking him onto his back. He watched Buffy kicking and beating the vampire while he was holding the side of his head. After she staked the vampire, he got up. What a useful company. He barely swung at him. I was a shame, considering how old and strong he was compared to this fledge.

Out of breath, Buffy turned towards him. "What do you mean he's just a kid? Does that mean I'm just a kid, too?"

Angel mentally sighed. He did not want to have this conversation. "Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight." He turned to leave.

"Oh, no, you don't." He heard her calling from behind him. "You can't just turn and walk away from me like that. It takes more than that to get rid of me…"

Suddenly, her ranting stopped. Angel blinked and turned around. Where was she? He walked towards the open grave and bent staring down. She was lying on an open and empty coffin at the bottom.

"You okay?" he asked her, concerned.

******

Angel grunted when the pain in his chest started again. Wonderful. Someone like him losing to a bunch of lousy fledges. A perfect follow up to the humiliating scene he had with Buffy earlier when he couldn't even hit the newly sired idiot. Good thing no one he knew was there to witness the second humiliation.

He reached the library doors, but stopped when he heard the laughter from inside. It was Buffy and …

He frowned, peering from the door's round window. His frown deepened more. She was sitting there on the table with *him*, both eating ice cream. She gave him a light slap on the upper arm and he did that pout thing he always did, trying to look cute. Angel wished he could tell him what it really made him look like. They started laughing and Buffy was leaning on him.

Angel gritted his teeth. He couldn't help the rising jealousy. This was what he had always feared. He knew about Xander's feelings for her, knew he would do all he could to get her, snatch her away from Angel. It was easier for Xander. He was attending school with her, sharing the same classes, sharing food and soda.

He was able to be around her when Angel couldn't.

Heaving a bitter sigh, Angel made his way inside. Both teenagers turned their attention to the library doors. Xander snorted when he saw him. "He does know when to show his undead face," he grumbled.

"Angel," Buffy exclaimed with wide eyes, quickly jumping off her place on the table and running towards him. She softly touched his chest where the wound was before looking up with worried eyes. "What happened?" she asked.

"Vampires. A lot of them," he answered quietly, wincing when her light touches caused some stinging.

Her fingers froze at his wince then she drew her hand back. She looked up at him with resolve face. "Where are they?" she demanded.

"I ran into a nest of them near the school. I think they're up to something."

"Probably, since they're near the Hellmouth. I'll go check it out." She took a stake and started towards the doors.

Angel grabbed her arm, stopping her. "You can't go there by yourself."

She looked at him with a glare. "Try me. And you're not coming with these wounds. You'll be no use for me. And someone has to do the job."

"Uh... ehm…"

Angel and Buffy turned their faces to the forgotten Xander, who appeared bored. "Well, as much as I hate to say this, I agree with fang-face here. Buffy, you shouldn't go alone, which means…" He jumped off the table and pointed at his chest, "I'm going there with you."

Angel shot him his best glare, ready to object.

"You're not coming either, Xander," Buffy stated firmly.

"Why not?" Xander cried out.

Angel gave a triumphant look.

"Because someone has to take care of Angel's wounds while I'm gone."

"What?!" Now that yell came from both men.

"I'm not doing that!" Xander objected.

"What? Him? I prefer bleeding to death," Angel complained.

"Angel, someone has to check on the wound in your chest," Buffy reasoned.

"But that's not necessary. I'm a vampire. Vampires don't need any medical care. They heal on their…" he trailed off at the determined look on her face and sighed, defeated. "Well, can't I have Willow or Giles doing it instead of him?" he bleated, throwing a heated glance at Xander, who in return rolled his eyes.

"Willow is doing a charity thing for school, and Giles is on a date with Miss Calendar." She looked down at her watch. "Now I've wasted two minutes chatting while I'm supposed to be doing some dusting," with that said, she made her way out.

Angel closed his eyes in annoyance and slowly turned around to face his horrible fate. He opened his eyes and jumped startled when Xander's bored face was two inches in front of him. "Why don't you just sit down Mr. I'm-Kick-Ass-Vamp-For-Nothing while I get the first aid?"

Angel praised his self-control, which he gladly still had, and only growled on the inside. It was okay for him to denigrate himself, but for Xander to do so? What had happened to the world?

He watched Xander walk to the small office and took off his coat. Taking his shirt off, the fabric was stuck to the blood, making it burn irritably as he pulled, but he would handle it, because he was *not* a vampire for nothing.

"Now I don't wanna remind you that…"

When Harris trailed off, Angel turned around, wondering what went wrong. The sight that greeted him was shocking. Xander's wide eyes were exploring every inch of Angel's exposed upper body. A faint smell of arousal had hit him. The kid thought he was attractive.

With a smirk, Angel sat on one a chair, stretching his body, regardless to the pain. When Xander hadn't made a move and still stood motionless, Angel snapped, "Hey, are you going to stand there forever?"

Xander startled. "Huh?" He stumbled towards him, kneeling before him with the first aid kit placed next to him. Angel quickly hid the smirk when Xander raised his head at him, and wore his usual broody expression. He felt Xander's hands patching his wounds, their movement were very careful and light, like butterfly touches. Angel faked a sigh at the contact. He enjoyed Xander's overwhelming emotions. As much as Angel hated what he was, it did come in handy sometimes.

He brushed his knee on Xander's chest on purpose but did it as spontaneous as possible. Xander stopped working for a second before going back again.

The flushed cheeks made Angel feel self-satisfied. It made him want to humiliate Xander, call him on it. It was strange that he felt like that. It didn't feel like him. He wasn't that person, anymore.

"Okay, now you can cover up," Xander said quickly, wrenching his eyes away from the bare chest.

Angel looked at him in amusement.

The boy hurried into the small office with the first aid kit. Angel's amused smile grew when he heard Harris' quiet gasps in there. What was he doing? Was he jerking off? No, that was impossible, he couldn't…

A small groan was heard along with the sound of flesh rubbing. With great effort, Angel held the laughter inside.

After few seconds, a blushing Xander made an appearance. He glared at Angel when he spotted him shirtless. "Why aren't you dressed yet?"

"My shirt is soaked with blood."

"Funny to hear a vampire using that excuse."

"I'm not any vampire."

"Yeah, you have a soul. Blah, blah, blah. At the end of the day, you're nothing but a vampire."

Angel narrowed his eyes at him. "I know you don't trust me. It seems you never will."

"Well, not until you start breathing air." Xander started walking towards the doors. "C'mon, let's go help Buffy."

How ironic. Xander had just told him he didn't trust him and now he was asking him to help. That boy had some double standards. With a head shake, Angel followed.

*****

The Second Coming, though short, was plainly a masterpiece. Angel wondered why he had never read for Yeats before. The soul and guilt had him missing out on most of the whole twentieth century. Looking that it was mostly about war and destruction, he was thankful he had missed it.

Buffy's scent mixed with blood. She was coming over to his apartment. Yeats was tossed on the table and Angel stood right in front of the door. The scent of blood worried him. Not to mention the unpleasant scent of Xander.

Frantic knocks attacked his door, making him hastily open it. Buffy stood before him, bloodied, with a tied up Xander next to her.

"What's wrong?" Angel asked, apprehensive, looking at the blood dripping from the cuts on Buffy's face.

"A behemoth demon," Buffy breathed tiredly. "She had captured Xander but I got him out. Giles and Willow are down there, trying to distract her. I'll go check on them. I'm gonna leave Xander here. You keep him here and safe while I finish her." She pushed Xander inside and slammed the door shut.

Angel blinked. Behemoth demons, the male and the female, lived on youthful human males. Not by eating them, but by drinking their seed. He glanced at Xander and noted his trembling body as well as the flushed cheeks. It appeared he didn't take his stay there very well. His hands were tied behind his back and the buttons of his blue shirt were torn out. His clothes were very much crumpled.

"Here," Angel whispered, gently. "Let me untie you."

He moved in front of Xander, who jerked back glaring up at him. "Who told you I need your freakin' help?"

Angel's eyebrows rose so high from shock. "I was…" He stopped and glared in return. "Oh, you're not even worth it." He strode towards his chair, grabbing his book and starting to read.

However, it seemed that Xander was more interesting than Yeats. Angel couldn't help but glance at the idiot boy seated at the couch, trying to get comfortable. He squirmed into several positions but with his hands tied behind his back, he couldn't get comfortable.

Angel waited for him to give up and ask the vampire to untie him. Apparently, Xander was too stubborn to admit his defeat. He walked over to the small kitchen and later there were sounds of drawers opening before silver objects smacking each other.

With vampire speed, Angel was right by the kitchen door. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"What does it look like?" Xander retorted, trying with difficulty to direct the knife to cut the ropes.

Losing his patience, Angel snatched the knife from the protesting Xander's hands and placed it inside its drawer. He turned towards Xander and growled, "Now stop acting like an idiot and let me take care of it."

"I don't need your help!" Xander yelled, backing away.

"God, you're irritating!" Angel paced towards him and Xander withdrew until his back hit the wall. Angel reached for Xander's shoulders to turn him around but Xander's struggles made that difficult. Eventually, Angel pulled Xander against his chest and peered over his shoulder to reach for the ropes.

It was only when he heard Xander's aroused gasp that he stopped. It wasn't only him. Xander had stopped struggling as well, but that wasn't the point.

Xander was turned on by this? That was impossible. He pushed his body against the human's and heard the captured gasp. The scent of arousal was very faint but it was there. Angel leaned forwards slightly rubbing against Xander as he worked on the ropes. Xander was getting very uncomfortable but he was still standing inertly. Angel didn't know what surprised him the most; Xander standing there without fighting or the arousal?

How pathetic it was that Xander was already about to release when Angel wasn't even erect.

He heard an angry groan. "Will you by any chance finish with the untying before next year?"

"Well, if I wasn't forced to do it standing in this position, I'd have had you free half an hour ago."

"You're a vampire, Angel. Just use your super strength and tear them up already!"

Angel grumbled, Xander was so much like Buffy, always reminding him of what he was. But that didn't change the fact that he was right. Angel tore the ropes up, and once he did that, Xander pushed him aside and walked quickly out of the kitchen. Angel guessed he was looking for the bathroom. If he hadn't known better, he would say that Xander was, physically anyway, attracted to him. So, it looked like little Xander had a crush on the boyfriend of Buffy, the girl who held Xander's interests. Everything seemed to be working for Angel's benefits. If only could Xander see that he was interested in Angel as well.

******

Angel smacked the book he was skimming shut when it appeared to lack the information they needed. He sighed as he returned it to the bookshelf. The stack level of the school library had a big collection of books. It would take days to find the book they needed. He took another book, reluctantly, and started looking through it.

He could hear the conversation downstairs. Giles had ordered Xander to look for another book in the stack level. Xander's protests caused Angel to smirk. He knew why Xander was refusing. So much had happened that made Angel aware of the irresistible lust lingering inside the teenager. He knew Xander was aware of it also. For the past few weeks, Angel, unconsciously, had been nothing but sexual torment for Xander.

The night Spike had made an appearance; Angel had this plan to trick him, using Xander as bait. Every time he had pressed Xander tighter to his body, the boy's erection hardened. Days later had passed with chest wounds that were dealt with by Willow or Buffy. The amusing part was how Xander had glanced at his exposed chest from time to time. When Angel looked at him, Xander would turn away, embarrassed.

What had still annoyed Angel were Xander's constant attempts to impress Buffy. Shouldn't that stop by now? It was obvious where Xander's interest lay. At least to Xander and Angel.

He placed the other book back on the shelf, sensing Xander walking by him. Unconsciously, he gave a sigh, feeling Xander stopping rigid behind him.

"What do you want?" Xander boldly asked, even though Angel felt the anxiety wrapping his senses.

"Did I say anything?"

"You sighed."

"So?"

He heard the gritting teeth and a second later, he was spun around to face the angry features of Xander Harris. "You think I don't know what you're doing?"

"What I'm doing?"

"Stop acting like you know nothing. You're doing this on purpose."

"I'm doing nothing. If my presence puts you off, then it's your problem, not mine."

It was true. Angel hadn't done anything to make Xander feel that way. His gestures, sighs, and glances were instinctive. He was not responsible for Xander's state of torture.

He jerked his arm away from Xander's grip and resumed looking for the book. He could feel Xander standing next to him, frustrated and confused. However, Angel couldn't bring himself to care. It wasn't his business if poor Xander was confused. Kids his age always faced that stage where they needed to define themselves.

There. The information about Juzma demons. He closed the book and turned to leave. Xander stopped him, with a distressed exclaim, "You're just gonna leave it that way?"

Angel raised his eyebrows, before leaning forwards and brushing his lips on Xander's shocked ones for a brief moment. Drawing back, he looked down at the wide eyes. "Now, satisfied?"

With that said, he made his way down the stairs.

******

"This can't go on, Buffy."

"What is it? Us?" she asked, heatedly.

He had seen them yesterday. They had laughed, snuggled together, casting smiles to each other. Xander held her tightly and she hadn't seemed to mind. He had whispered in her ear and she had dragged him onto the dance floor. Slow, seductive music had their bodies rhythmically sway. He had touched her hip. She had her arms around his neck.

It was Xander's arousal that had Angel raged, but not as much as Buffy's thumping heart. He knew it would have gone this way sooner or later. He had always known he hadn't had a shot with a mortal. It still angered him though. It still ripped his unbeaten heart to pieces.

He looked at her angry face, knowing clearly that it was nothing but a mask. She was scared and hurting, waiting for the blow. "Maybe this isn't gonna work," he whispered.

Her lips trembled. Her eyes were getting glassy. "Why?"

"Because it's doomed from the start, Buffy. I'm a vampire, you're the slayer. It won't work."

Her lips twisted. The pained look in her eyes turned hard. "You know," with a wavering voice she started. "Maybe I should start dating guys my age."

"Yeah, maybe you should," he spat, turning away. Xander. Xander. Xander. How he disliked him.

She had left, leaving him with undesirable faint images of a certain dark haired boy licking her neck alluringly.

*****

"What are you doing here?" Angel growled, if not a bit confused.

Xander made his way inside the apartment. "She's gone with this senior guy."

It wasn't Xander, then? She went out with another guy. Angel stared at Xander but wasn't actually seeing him.

"Earth to Mr. Hair-gel. How do you put it on, anyway?"

Angel startled. Xander was few inches closer to him. "Why are you here?"

"Can't a guy visit his vampire buddy once in awhile?" Xander shifted, uncomfortable.

Angel frowned. "Not you." He approached Xander and had his eyes narrowed more at his face.

"What?" the boy snapped, withdrawing back.

"You came for sex, didn't you?" Angel asked with wide eyes.

"N-no," Xander replied, shaking his face hard.

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't. I'm here for a completely different reason!"

With his arms crossed around his chest, Angel asked, "What?"

Xander rubbed his temple. "Um… unfinished business?"

Angel raised both eyebrows in amusement.

"Yes, I'm pathetic! I'm weak and a *teenager*, teens are people subjected with horniness. Rushing hormones. Gay rushing hormones."

Angel's eyebrows were still hung up in amusement.

"And *you*!" He pointed at Angel accusingly. "You started with the gay thing! You want me so bad." He crossed his arms, gazing at Angel with uncertain complacency.

Brookes had said that paradox was the language of poetry. Angel had decided to write a poem about this sweet little situation, inspired by Xander's last quote. Now if Spike could write poetry, Angel definitely could as well.

"Yes, Xander, I can't help myself. I go crazy without you…"

Xander held up a hand to make him stop. "Leave the trash talk for Buffy. We're guys, Angel." He moved closer to him, looking up. "Guys go like this." He dragged Angel's head downwards, crushing his mouth into his.

Angel had completely forgotten how it was to kiss a man. His first kiss with Xander was similar to his with Buffy. Slow, smooth, sweet, but with Xander, short. This one was different. Rough, hard, brutal, it was how men liked to kiss, more specifically how vampires liked to kiss.

Xander drew back to catch his breath. Angel growled pulling him up harshly and smacking his lips into the warm ones. Xander's legs hung in the air, but the boy didn't seem to complain. His hands clutched Angel's shoulders in apparent distrust, maybe fearing Angel would drop him down.

Buffy laughed in Angel's head, she ran her hand alongside the senior boy's cheek. She smiled at him. Angel growled, hitting Xander's back to the wall violently. Xander gasped in pain, but Angel hadn't let go. He bit Xander's lips with force and heard him groan.

Buffy kissed the senior.

Angel drew back and glared at Xander, growling. Xander looked at him dazed. "Vampire," he panted.

It hit Angel that he had lost control of his façade. His true nature appeared before Xander's face. Forehead on forehead, nose on nose, Xander's blinking eyelashes brushing lightly on Angel's closed eyelids, with Xander's shaky warm breath hitting his cheeks. Angel, for the first time, had grown hard around Xander.

"While I'd enjoyed being picked up when I was a kid, I don't really appreciate it that much now," Xander said between breaths. Angel looked down at Xander's dangled legs.

Angel looked up at Xander and stared at him, still lifting him up. "What?" the boy asked.

"I think I want you."

*****

It wasn't really Xander, he tried to convince himself as he stared at the unconscious naked boy next to him. It was the thought of Buffy being with someone else that had driven him over the edge. He was sure. He might not have been thinking about Buffy when he screwed Xander to his mattress, but he knew she was the reason this happened.

Anger, but for the first time in awhile wasn't directed at Xander. It was directed at himself. Guilt. Regret. Angel hadn't felt this small in centuries. Jealousy and what it did to people.

He looked at Xander's sleeping face. He had used him, twisted his life upside down, went out of his way to damage him because he had been jealous of him. Now this would be another weight put on his guilt list. He couldn't believe he would take advantage of someone like that. For a year now, Angel had more control over his demonic instincts. He had learned to live, talk and act like a human. What had happened now?

Buffy's scent.

The eyes that were staring at Buffy's naked sleeping friend had widened in alarm. Angel jumped from the bed, and with vamparic speed had his clothes on.

He stood outside his apartment the minute Buffy was about to knock. She looked at him, startled.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she responded with a quieter voice.

"How's your date?"

"Terrible. Couldn't stop thinking about you." She lowered her head, embarrassed.

"Me too," he admitted.

She looked up at him, hopefully. "Angel, why don't we try again? Maybe…" she hadn't finished, but her eyes pleaded.

"I was jealous."

She looked confused. "Jealous?"

"Of Xander."

She almost broke laughing. "You're still fussing about that?"

"I've thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little."

Her emerald eyes focused on him. "I don't love Xander," she spoke sincerely.

"Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight."

She looked up at him with a sweet, warm smile. "I don't look that good in direct light."

He smiled. A long intense moment and he had her lips on his. Sweet. Soft. Smooth. She broke away shortly.

"I have to get back home, mom made it clear I should be back before eleven sharp."

"Want me to walk you?"

"Nah, she was there when I went out with Aaron. It'll freak her out if she saw me come back with another guy."

Angel chuckled, watching her leave, before he returned back to his apartment. Xander was in the middle of the room. He had already had on his pants, and now he started putting on his shirt.

"So you and Buffy are back together?" Xander asked in a matter of fact tone.

"I think so," he answered. His feeling of guilt built up again. His eyes not leaving Xander's stiff body. "Look, about what we did…"

"No, no, you don't have to explain," Xander interrupted. "It's just sex. C'mon, we're men. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"Good, good. I just wanted to make it clear."

Xander wore his coat, giving a tight smile. "Well, it is."

"Good. It was really nice."

"Well, it's my first time, so I can't really tell."

"What's with the attitude? You were much more easygoing back there."

Xander looked at him for a moment. Angel couldn't read him. Finally, Xander shook his head. "Nothing, just wanna get home. I need to sleep and your bed isn't comfortable."

"Yeah," he muttered, looking down at the black ant on the floor, feeling as small as it was right now.

Stiff movements he tried to block his sensitive ears from hearing. Scents of shame and humiliation he tried to block his nose from smelling. All tries failed, except for the eyes. They were firmly focused on the small ant, unable to see a crushed teenager trying to act careless.

The door was closed, leaving the demon in his apartment alone. Maybe that was why Angel had fallen in love with Buffy. She had always brought the human in him, while Xander had brought nothing but the monster, raw and bare.

Feeling ashamed, angry and small, Angel squashed the ant with all his might.